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So first let me make this very clear, I am not a doctor of any sort, I have ZERO medical background. I am not telling you what to do with your vagina. That is not my business anymore than it is the business of a decrepit, white, male congressman. This is merely a recounting of the changes my body went through directly following my IUD insertion. So here we go!

I had the Mirena, it was inserted in my uterus with the goal of preventing pregnancy for up to five years…

The Procedure:

I took a pill prior to the appointment that was meant to numb me, I have no idea if it did any of what it was supposed to do. The whole appointment took probably 30 minutes. I was told that during insertion I would feel some pressure followed by cramping that would go away pretty instantly and that only SOME soreness would follow.

Directly After the Procedure:

I went to the appointment alone and left alone. My Gyno was about three miles away from my house. I made it MAYBE a mile before I pulled over and called my Mom in tears. The cramps were constant and painful but every couple of minutes they would intensify. My Mom was in a meeting so I sucked it up as best as I could and drove home.

The Afternoon/Night of the Procedure:

The following hours were excruciating. I cried and moaned and was probably pretty close to screaming. There was no relief. Loaded up with advil and heating packs, curled in the fetal position I had my Mom call my Gyno and tell her that if the pain lasted much longer I was going to the ER to get it taken out. My Gyno explained that I was basically in labor, there was a foreign object in my uterus and my body was trying to expel it. Pretty sure that means those cramps were almost akin to contractions. She prescribed me muscle relaxants. Initially they did nothing but eventually I was able to fall asleep. The next day I was sore but functional.

The First Six Months:

For the six months following insertion I bled everyday. Some days it was light spotting and others it was full on menstruation.

After Six Months:

• My skin erupted in endless breakouts
• 8/10 times after I had sex I would get immediate Yeast Infections. I got my first UTI ever and proceeded to get three more after that.
• For the first time ever I cramped, and cramped badly, before and during my period.
• The WORST part? I started losing my hair. I lost so much hair everyday that after six months you could pinpoint the place in my hair that correlated with getting my IUD because all the way around my head my hair was visibly see-through thin.

I was getting a haircut at an Aveda salon and mentioned to the hairdresser than I was losing hair and didn’t know why. She called over the manager and the manager’s first question was “do you have an IUD?” Apparently she had seen 10+ women with the same issue. She told me that if I didn’t get it taken out the hair loss would be irreversible. I don’t know if that’s medically proven but I wasn’t taking any chances

Sex with an IUD:

With all that being said, the Mirena did its job, regardless of the side effects. This is TMI, but for the years that I had my IUD I was having consistent unprotected sex with my (then) boyfriend. Unprotected as in not practicing any method of birth control, if you know what I mean. I never even came close to a pregnancy scare and I was very confident as it boasts over 99% effectiveness.

BUT! My (then) boyfriend claimed that in certain positions he could feel the metal strings that are attached to the Mirena. My Gyno said that was impossible but she let me come in for an appointment and readjusted it for me (which resulted in more cramping). It was not long before he could feel them again and as much as I wanted to tell him he was crazy, there were MULTIPLE times he pulled out with visible scratches on the tip of his penis.

Getting It Taken Out:

I got it taken out after a around 2 years. The procedure was quick and uncomfortable but nowhere near as painful as insertion.

Finally, I will end by saying I know many women who never had a single issue with their IUD. This is my personal experience. I will speak to the effectiveness of my IUD, it truly did the job it was supposed to, I just happened to have 80% of the related side effects.