Maiaelizabeth.com

This eulogy has been stored in my IPhone notes since I wrote it, what feels like so many years ago. I’m sharing it with you now because I need you understand that there will be someone in your life, if there hasn’t been already, that you have the chance to save. And if you see the value in the life of everyone that has walked in to yours then it’s not an opportunity it is an obligation.

5/23/2013

“When I was younger my brother and I used to sleep in my mother’s room together. I slept near the lamp and he slept by the door. We each had our “side” and the side was divided by the length of our pillows. Almost every night without fail Jesse would pull his pillow overtop of mine to make them overlap so he could be as close as possible to me. I would yell down to my mom: “JESSE IS ON MY SIDE,” she would say “JESSE GET ON YOUR OWN SIDE,” but because he remained on his pillow he remained convinced he was on his own side.

Now, in the last week everyone in this room has told me that they would do anything for me. I’ve said those words myself to other people and really meant them but rarely does anyone actually ask for anything. I didn’t think I’d ever ask you for anything either but now I know what I need…

I want everyone to turn to the person on either side of you, tell them your name, tell them that you care about them and tell them if in their life they need something you will be their person. Tell them if they are ever in need of someone to be close to, you will share your side with them.”

-At this point I had to stop because no one in the church moved. I laughed and said “I’m serious, right now, do it.” Maybe the people in the church were just afraid of the girl with the dead brother standing at the altar but they started moving around, turning to their neighbors and murmuring to each other. After a couple of moments I began to speak again.

“Now think about the last person you were truly mean to. Think about what you said or did, when you leave here within this week find them, apologize to them and in those moments forget your pride. Ask them to pass it on, for me and for my brother.  

When someone needs to be on your side just let them be on your side. Don’t hang off the edge just to spare your comfort, and if the day ever comes that you, yourself, need to be on someone else’s side, I volunteer the side of myself and everyone in this room.”

-Tragic events play defining roles in most people’s lives. Almost every person I have ever met has gone through something life changing and traumatic. Those events, when publicly known, become a sort of trauma trivia. This makes me Maia, the girl with the dead brother. That will never not be an awkward part of every “getting to know you” conversation. “Do you have any siblings?” The answer is yes, but that always leads to more questions. So maybe the answer is no, but that’s a lie and even thinking about saying those words makes me feel sick. So, yes, I am Maia. The girl with the dead brother and that fucking defines me. There will never be a day that goes by, for the rest of my life, that I am anything different. & I hope with every fiber of my being that is never something that defines you. If it had to be someone I am glad it is me, I don’t wish this pain on anyone else.

So if the time comes that you have the opportunity to save someone from this defining moment, I beg that you do everything in your power to fulfill that obligation.

& equally as important, if there comes a time that saving someone from this defining moment ALSO means saving yourself- I am begging you to reach out. SHARE SOMEONE’S SIDE.

I’m a phone call away: 814-823-2396

& if you won’t call me give someone else the chance

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255